2019届高考英语二轮书面表达高分练兵场：（14）概要写作二

2019届高考英语二轮书面表达高分练兵场：（14）概要写作二

概要写作二 ‎1、阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。‎ ‎    While numerous studies have looked at how individual habits may extend or shorten a person's life, far fewer have tried to quantify the benefits of practicing a number of healthy habits together, especially for people who begin only later in life. This was the focus of a 2007 study published in The American Journal of Medicine. The trial examined whether newly adopting a healthy lifestyle in middle age could still produce significant benefits, in terms of lower risk of heart disease.‎ ‎    A group of 15,792 older men and women living in four different communities in the United States were tracked from 1987 to 1998. Aged 45 to 64 years, the subjects were examined for their weight,height,dietary intake,smoking habits and exercise.‎ ‎    The researchers noted they did not include moderate alcohol consumption, because the study aimed to assess the effect of adopting new healthy habits, and beginning to drink in middle age is not widely recommended.‎ ‎    Interestingly, at the beginning of the study only 8.5% of the subjects were practicing all four healthy habits. After 6 years, an additional 970 people had adopted all four of the primary habits. The most common switch was to begin eating at least 5 fruits and vegetables each day.‎ ‎    The researchers examined the ‘‘successful switchers’’,and concluded that the subjects most likely to change habits for the better were older,female, those with a college education, higher income and without a history of high blood pressure.‎ ‎    After four additional years of follow-up the healthiest lifestyle switchers enjoyed a 40% reduction in the risk of death from any cause, and a 35% lower chance of heart attack or strokes.‎ ‎2、阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。‎ The surprising reason you can’t lose weight ‎    Bob and Bill are roommates and good friends.They eat the same food, have similar jobs and they recently started doing the same sports together, too. The only difference between them, it seems, is sleep schedules: While Bob gets a solid 7 to 8 hours each night, Bill has an irregular sleep schedule and doesn’t get enough sleep.‎ ‎    Can you guess why their shared exercise and nutrition method is successful for Bob and not for Bill?‎ ‎    The only difference is sleep. While Bill and Bob are made up, the results of their circumstances are aren’t. If you want your lifestyle changes to reflect in the way you look and feel, sleep is the key.‎ ‎    As The Washington Post pointed out this week, a growing body of research points to the fact that skimping on sleep can lead to weight gain,an increase in injuries and a decrease in testosterone(雄性激素) levels, which is often associated with depression and bone density(密度) loss.‎ ‎    During deep sleep, the body’s muscles recover, repairing tissue tom during sports, and the brain creates memories and clears out toxins(毒素). Without these processes,you're exercising and feeding a faulty machine.‎ ‎    “Many people think you build muscle in the gym,but you actually build when you sleep,” Chirjeev Sawhney, a personal trainer and fitness manager at a Gold’s Gym in Arlington,told the Post. "It's when you repair that broken tissue that you get stronger," Sawhney said.‎ ‎    If the fact that sleep makes your physical fitness more achievable isn’t enough,consider its many other benefits: Quality sleep can make you better at your job. It can extend your lifetime. It’ll make you more likable. It’s time to getthe sleep you deserve. You have nothing to lose (except maybe a few pounds).‎ ‎3、阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。‎ ‎    Physicist Stephen Hawking said people should return to the Moon and go to Mars because leaving Earth may be the only way to save humanity.‎ ‎    Hawking said that as Earth faces climate change and pressure on natural resources, human beings need to reach beyond our planet.‎ ‎    "We are running out of space and the only places to go to are other worlds," he said. "It is time to explore other solar systems. Spreading out may be the only thing that saves us from ourselves. I am convinced that humans need to leave Earth,’’ he added. “ If humanity is to continue for another million years,our future lies in boldly going where no one else has gone before.”‎ ‎    The University of Cambridge professor spoke during a visit (in June) to the Starmus Festival in Trondheim, Norway.‎ ‎    Hawking said human beings should return to the Moon by the year 2020 and Mars by 2025. "This," he said, “will unite humans in the shared purpose of exploring the universe.”‎ ‎    “ Spreading out into space will completely change the future of humanity,he said. “ I hope it would unite competitive nations in a single goal, to face the common challenge for us all.”‎ ‎    Hawking added that reaching the Moon, Mars and other planets would get young people interested in space-relatedsciences.‎ ‎    He said making the first moves into space would “ elevate humanity" because it would have to involve manycountries.‎ ‎    Whenever we make a great new leap, such as the Moon landings, we bring people and nations together, usher in new discoveries, and new technologies, Hawking said. "To leave Earth demands a concerted global approach, so everyone should join in. We need to rekindle the excitement of the early days of space travel in the 1960s."‎ ‎    The European Space Agency has announced a plan to create a “ Moon Village ” after the International Space Station is taken out of service in 2024. China is also reportedly interested in sending an astronaut to the Moon.‎ ‎    The United States is working on sending astronauts to Mars. The U.S. space agency, NASA, hopes to do this by the 2030s.‎ ‎4、阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。‎ ‎    How many times have you heard the expression that most people spend more time planning their vacation than they do planning their lives? I would expand that expression by adding that most people spend more time “thinking” about their vacation than they do thinking about what's important in their life.‎ ‎    While rest and relaxation are a must in living a balanced life, it's not what we were created to do. After all, the Master Creator took his R&R (Rest and Recreation) on the seventh day, only after six days of "definitely directed thought”.‎ Wallace D. Wattles,wrote, “There is no labor from which most people shrink(退缩) as they do from that of sustained and consecutive thought; it is the hardest work in the world." And yet it is the first and primary labor of achievement.‎ ‎    My friend Mike Litman wrote an outstanding article this week. It5s called The Millionaire Composite and it analyzes one of the big differences between successful people and everyone else. He wrote, “ I recently visited a real estate multimillionaire Mogul. What did I see next to his desk? I saw his vision statement, along with a list of what he values in life.”‎ ‎    “A few months ago, I interviewed an individual who has sold products worth over a billion dollars on television. He told me that he read his life and business vision and goals daily, and that he took time to visualize exactly what he wanted to create each night before falling asleep.”‎ ‎    What is your life’s purpose or your personal mission statement? Is it written down? Do you review it and think about it often? Is your life organized around your purpose and a set of goals that support that purpose?‎ ‎    Without life’s purpose and goals,you are like a ship without a rudder (舵). There is power in your purpose and in your goals. It is the power that takes you over obstacles,and it is the fuel that propels(驱使) you toward the life you envision.‎ ‎5、阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。‎ ‎    Sugar is not good for our health. But you may reason that a single can of Coke every day won't do you much harm. After all, with exercise, you can bum ofif the calories from that can of Coke anyway. If this is your way of thinking, then congratulations! You are Big Soda’s ideal consumer.‎ ‎    The term “Big Soda” refers to two soft drink companies: the Coca-Cola Company and Pepsi Co Inc. American soda consumption has experienced a sustained decline. In China, however, it is a different story. According to a Xinhua News Agency report, Coca-Cola's soda sales went up 10 percent in the second quarter this year compared with the same time last year.‎ ‎    Increases in soda consumption can be womsome to health experts. In her recent book Soda Politics: Taking on Big Soda (and Winning) , New York University nutrition professor Marion Nestle makes a fiery case against the soda industn . She says it*s all right if you drink sweet drinks occasionally. But drinking it every day is "plainly unhealthy".‎ ‎    According to The Economisty one large study cited in Nestle's book found that for each (12-ounce) can added to a person's daily diet, the risk of diabetes jumped by 22 percent. There are also links between sugar and heart disease, obesity, strokes and cancer. Unlike fruit or even a Big ‎ Mac, sweet drinks have no nutritional value. A 12-ounce (340-gram) can of Coke, for example, has 140 calories and 39 grams of sugar but no protein or fiber.‎ ‎    Nestle also points out that drinking a lot of soda has a broader cost. Chronic diseases caused by unhealthy diets can create a burden for a country's health care system.‎ ‎    Increased health awareness has turned a lot of US consumers against soda. On a political level, lawmakers are also waging a war against Big Soda. Thirty-three US states are taxing soda or sugar drinks, while some are consideringintroducing warning labels for soda ads and soda products.‎ ‎6、阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。‎ ‎    Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak has launched a school to teach computer science and technology-related skills.‎ ‎    In 2017, Wozniak announced creation of what is being called an online university, known as Woz U. In the beginning, Woz U will only offer classes through electronic devices connected to computers. Later, the school plans to open up classrooms in more than 30 cities so students can attend in person.‎ ‎    Steve Wozniak founded Apple Computer,with Steve Jobs,in 1976. They developed and hand-built the company’s first computer, the Apple I , mainly working in Jobs9s home, near San Jose, California.‎ ‎    The following year, Wozniak designed the Apple Ⅱ, which marked a revolution in computer design and development. The Apple II became the worlds first successfully mass-produced personal computer.‎ ‎    Throughout its history, Apple has been seen as one of the most innovative technology companies. In addition to computers, it developed industry-changing products, such as the iPod and iPhone. According to Forbes, Apple is currently the ninth largest public company in the world.‎ ‎    Steve Wozniak left Apple in 1985. He said he left because he did not agree with some of the company’s business goals at the time. Since then, he has been involved with several other technology companies.‎ ‎    Wozniak has been a supporter of local education in areas where he has lived. He even taught computer classes to young people and has donated technology equipment to schools.‎ ‎    Now Wozniak is teaming up with a for-profit company to provide programs for students interested in learning about technology.‎ ‎    “ Our goal is to educate and train people in employable digital skills without putting them into years of debt,” Wozniak said in a statement. He added that his goal is to inspire and prepare “the next generation of innovators” to join the workforce of the future.‎ ‎    Woz U currently offers training in software development and computer support. The school plans to add several other subjects in 2018. Students who finish the programs will receive a certificate of completion upon graduation.‎ ‎    Wozniak says the school will also work with technology companies to help them identify new workers and train the ones they already have.‎ ‎7、阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。‎ ‎    It all started with a simple request. In 2006, Cathryn Couch was working as a chef, making home-delivery meals for customers. One day, a friend called and asked if Couch had any cooking jobs for her teenage daughter. She didn't, but the friend persisted. So Couch eventually came up with a project : making meals and delivering them to a local homeless center.‎ ‎    After seeing how excited and proud her friend’s daughter was after making the meals, Couch decided to replicate(复制) their lesson on a grander scale. That’s how,in 2007, the Ceres Community Project was bom. The Bay Area-based program asks teen volunteers to cook healthful, all-organic meals and deliver them to local patients with cancer and other serious conditions.‎ ‎    That first year, 21 volunteers made 4,500 meals. In 2015, 400 volunteers prepared more than 90,000 meals. Couch has opened five branches in counties across the Bay Area. And she has helped launch similar programs in cities like Eugene, Ore., and Madison, Wis. And now, the group has expanded east of San Francisco. In February, the Ceres Project opened up in Alameda, Calif., working with a supportive housing community called Alameda Point Collaborative( APC). Much of the funding came from the $100,000 left by a local woman who passed away from breast cancer. Generally, their money comes from a mix of individual and foundation donations.‎ ‎    “I'm seeing a lot of the kids’ natural leadership and social skills come out in the kitchen,” says Aileen Suzara, the Alameda program coordinator and chef. “ I see a bright light from the kids’ eyes. They have a sense of how the project is really touching someone’s life.”‎ ‎    When she first started the program, Couch thought that the cooking skills the teens gained would be the most valuable part of the program. But that’s not the case. “It’s really about learning that they matter in the world and that their choices make a difference,’’ she says.‎ ‎8、阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。‎ ‎    It’s been named the “Venice of Africa”, but comparisons between the unattractive community of Makoko and the historic Italian city begin and end at the waters edge.‎ ‎    Makoko’s huts rise from the dirty waters of the lagoon around Lagos,Nigeria’s biggest city—a far cry from the beautiful bridges and buildings that mark Venice.‎ ‎    Now it is hoped that education, with the help of creative architecture, can help create a better future for the children of Makoko.‎ ‎    The hope comes in the shape of a floating school, built completely by the locals. The project, backed by the UN Development Fund, the Nigerian government and the Heinrich Boll Foundation, is the brainchild of local architect Kunle Adeyemi. Kunle said that improving the poor area required something new that was more in tune with local customs and the environment.‎ ‎    "Living on water is actually a way of life...so, the question is them, how do you improve that condition, how do you deal with the challenges of living on water in a safe, healthy and environmentally sound way?” he said.‎ ‎    Canoes, long light boats, are how the 150,000 people who live in Makoko get around as they try to make a living by fishing and trading.‎ ‎    The new school floats on 250 empty blue barrels fixed under its wooden base designed to get around the problems of periodic flooding in the area. Fishermen search the waters for the day's catch. The floating school gives them a place to tie up their canoes and mend nets well while children are in class.‎ ‎    Jeremiah Oleole Austin is one of the few young people to have gone on to further education. “ I was bom and brought up there, so I know how the people suffer. I know what they really need in this community. Without some... training or skills,how can they go to places?” said the art student. “There are only a few of us who went out into thecity to see more...If there are more schools, I believe there will be change in the community."‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 答案以及解析 ‎1答案及解析：‎ 答案：‎ ‎    The article discusses the impact of a healthy lifestyle. (要点 1) A large number of studies show that a healthy lifestyle is likely to help you live longer in later life. " Undoubtedly, the researchers from these studies pointed out adopting a healthy lifestyle can impact the life span. (要点 2) Obviously, to carry out their studies, the researchers had tracked the participants more than 10 years, and the results were remarkable.(要点 3)your unhealthy lifestvles right away.(要点 4) ( 80 words)‎ 解析：‎ 审题分析 ‎1. 文章体裁属于说明文;‎ ‎2. 用第三人称进行叙述与说明,使文章更清晰、直白;‎ ‎3. 报道叙述普遍存在的共性话题,故用一般现在时;‎ ‎4. 注意适当使用精彩的过渡词,使文章自然流畅、层次分明;‎ ‎5. 适当使用精彩句式,以达到画龙点睛的效果。‎ 高分揭秘 ‎1. 习作者具备良好的概要写作的能力,特别是英语语言高度概括的能力超强。同时,也感受到作者简约有序地组织要点概括整合的髙超能力。‎ ‎2. 用词精确谨慎,所选句式难易交错,固定句式及地道的短语赋予了文章别样的风采,衔接词及相关的连接词的表达也非常到位。‎ ‎3. 适当使用语法结构和高级句式的表达,如that引导的宾语从句,“it be +形容词+动词不定式短语”构成的句式等。‎ ‎4. 本题满分25分,本篇得24分。‎ ‎ ‎ ‎2答案及解析：‎ 答案：    The same living way about Bob and Bill comes out different results.(要点 1) That is because of different sleep schedule, which leads to different results for them.(要点 2)It’s proved that sleep plays an important role in human health. Good sleep can benefit people. (要点 3) Therefore, since you know the reason, why don’t you have enough sleep? If you do this, you can’t lose anything at all except a few pounds.(要点 4) (67 words)‎ 解析：‎ 审题要点 分析素材包括以下几个要点:‎ ‎1. 鲍勃和比尔除了睡眠时间不同,其他生活习惯都一样,但身体情况出现了不同的结果;‎ ‎2. 由以上例子可知睡眠对身体健康的作用;‎ ‎3. 睡眠给身体健康带来的好处:①睡眠不规律影响健康;②优质的睡眠带来健康的身体;‎ ‎4. 既然睡眠给人们带来如此多的益处,所以睡觉是值得的。‎ 思路点拨 ‎1. 分析素材层次,划分段落,提炼要点意思;‎ ‎2. 确定人称、时态:第二、三人称;一般现在时;‎ ‎3. 用熟悉的句式、高级词汇对要点进行表述;‎ ‎4. 用恰当的关联词连接各要点内容;‎ ‎5. 严格控制词数,一般在60词左右。‎ 高分揭秘 本篇范文作者用高度的概括性语言、流畅的高级句式和词汇以及恰当的关联词构建了一篇通顺、有条理的短文:‎ ‎1. 句式多样,亮点多多,包括定语从句、主语从句、条件状语从句等;‎ ‎2. 点睛之笔的关联词:therefore;‎ ‎3. 本题满分25分,本范文得23分。‎ ‎ ‎ ‎3答案及解析：‎ 答案：‎ ‎    With climate changing for the worse and natural resources running out, humanity has to emigrate somewhere like the Moon, according to Stephen Hawking.(要点 1) Besides contributing to humanity’s survival, this measure helps all nations worldwide to cooperate in exploring the universe. (要点 2 ) Furthermore, the young are inspired to take interest in space-related sciences.(要点 3) Hopefully, the European Space Agency, China and America are taking the lead in action.(要点 4) (65 words)‎ 解析：‎ 审题分析 这是篇应用文,讲述的是地球上气候发生了变化,自然资源曰益减少,不适合人类继续生存,要想让人类继续存活一百万年,就应该迁往月球或其他星球,这有利于世界各国团结起来共同开发宇宙,欧洲航天局和美国已经有了相关的计划并采取了措施;鉴于词数限制,习作者在准确把握原文的要点后,只有理清思路,精选词句,才能写出层次清晰,语句连贯,表达自然的概要。‎ 精彩点评 这篇概要全面而精确地概述了原文的要点;层次清楚,行文流畅,过渡自然;使用的高级词汇概括性强,高级句型表达给力,这更增添了习作亮点,也是该习作成为佳作的主要砝码。‎ ‎ ‎ ‎4答案及解析：‎ 答案：    The article tells us that we should not only know we are in need of rest and relaxation in order to live a balanced life, but also consider the purpose and meaning of our life.(要点 1) Although it is a difficult task to insist on the permanent and continuous idea, it will provide power so that we can achieve success.(要点 2) We have reason to believe that goals are necessary, no matter what we do.(要点 3) People always say that a life without a goal is a ship without a rudder.(要点 4) ( 88 words)‎ 解析：‎ 审题分析 ‎1. 文章体裁属于说明文;‎ ‎2. 用第三人称进行说明,使文章更清晰、直白;‎ ‎3. 叙述普遍存在的共性话题,用一般现在时;‎ ‎4. 注意适当使用精彩的过渡词,使文章自然流畅、层次分明;‎ ‎5. 适当使用精彩句式,以达到画龙点睛的效果。‎ 思路点拨 通过阅读文章,可以归纳明确主题 our life's purpose and personal mission, rest and relaxation are a necessity in living a balanced life;然后根据该主题句,搭建全篇概要的主体结构,即写作提纲;接着进行文章内容的填充。‎ 精彩点评 ‎1. 此篇概要写作逻辑性强,自然流畅,结构清晰,层次分明。‎ ‎2. 大胆地使用了一些高级短语。如in need of rest and relaxation, live a balanced life, insist on, achieve success, a life without a goal, a ship without a rudder 等。‎ ‎3.运用了一些让人耳目一新的高级句式,使整篇文章的风采生辉增艳。 如that引导宾语从句,although引导让步状语从句,so that 引导目的状语从句,matter what引导让步状语从句等。‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎5答案及解析：‎ 答案：‎ ‎    A person who drinks Coke every dav will be welcomed by Big Soda.(要点 1) The study in Marion Nestle’s book is obvious, which shows that the more sugar one consumes, the more likely one is to suffer from poor health. That's to say, drinking soda every day is absolutely unhealthy.(要点 2) Some measures taken to fight against "Big Soda" includes increasing health awareness, making relevant laws and taxing soda. (要点 3) What's more, it is necessary to know that Big Soda will increase the risk of getting some chronic diseases.(要点 4) (96 words)‎ 解析：‎ 思路点拨 通过阅读文章,可以归纳明确主题 Drinking soda every day is absolutely unhealthy;然后根据该主题句,搭建全篇概要的主体结构,即写作提纲;接着进行文章内容的填充一大量饮用soda有较大依赖性,不利于身体健康,甚至会引发很多慢性病,故采取必要措施against “Big Soda”成为必然。‎ 在拟写作提纲时,要突出主题Drinking soda every day is absolutely unhealthy,并知道先写什么,后写什么,做到文章具有层次感和立体感,这样写出的文章条理才会清晰、脉络才会分明。‎ 高分揭秘 ‎1. 本篇概要写作逻辑性强,自然流畅,结构清晰,层次分明。‎ ‎2. 大胆地使用了一些高级词汇。如be welcomed by,suffer from,absolutely 等。‎ ‎3. 衔接词语的使用也极具色彩,如that's to say, what’s more等:‎ ‎4. 还运用了一些让人耳目一新的复杂句式,使整篇文章的风采生辉增艳。如who引导的定语从句,which引导的非限制性定语从句,the more...the more...结构等。‎ ‎ ‎ ‎6答案及解析：‎ 答案：‎ ‎    Wozniak, co-founder of Apple, left Apple in 1985 with different business goals.(要点 1) In addition to teaching the youth computer skills and donating equipment to schools, he set up Woz U for them to become innovators in workforce.(要点 2) And they will spare debt with a good command of employable digital skills as well. (要点 3) Soon the school will offer other subjects.(要点 4)‎ ‎(62 words)‎ 解析：‎ 审题分析 这是篇应用文,讲述的是苹果公司的联合创立者沃兹尼亚克创办了一所技术学校,回顾了他与乔布斯共同创业的过程以及离开苹果公司的原因.他为地方教育做出的贡献等;补述了他创办学校的目的和学校未来的计划;鉴于习作词数要求,故习作者务必精心地理清写作思路,布局好习作的脉络,精选词汇,考究句型,全面而精确地概述原文的要点。‎ 精彩点评 习作者准确地把握了原文的主旨,以简洁和概括性的语言全面地概述了原文的要点;层次清楚,行文流畅,过渡自然,是篇高质量的习作。‎ ‎ ‎ ‎7答案及解析：‎ 答案：‎ ‎    The article shows the development of the Ceres Community Project, which was bom in the Bay Area. (要点 1)The reason why some volunteers are willing to join in is that it can provide healthy food for patients.(要点 2) What’s more, the Ceres Community Project has developed for ages.(要点 3) And Suzara, the coordinator and chef of APC thinks highly of the teen volunteers.(要点 4 ) More importantly, the children’s winning the confidence is the biggest achievement of the project.(要点 5) (74 words)‎ 解析：‎ 审题分析 ‎1.审文体。本文是一篇说明文,全文说明的中心是the impact of the Ceres Community Project,揭不该社区项目的社会影响;‎ ‎2. 审时态。此篇文章所讨论的问题是客观存在的事实,故以一般现在时为主;‎ ‎3. 审人称。用第三人称更能清晰地表达和说明the impact of the Ceres Community Project 及其发展历程;‎ ‎4. 审结构。本文可分成三个部分进行创作,即提出问题、分析问题、解决问题;‎ ‎5. 审要点。从全文各部分中归纳总结出5~6个要点,涵盖全文内容。‎ 思路点拨 ‎1. 严禁抄袭文章原句;‎ ‎2. 总结全文所说明的核心问题 the impact of the Ceres Community Project;‎ ‎3. 根据不同段落划分不同意群层次,如从some volunteers are willing to join in... the Ceres Community Project can provide healthy food for patients 以及 the Ceres Community Project has developed for ages等方面去概括;‎ ‎4. 注意适当使用精彩的过渡词,使文章自然流畅、层次分明。‎ ‎5. 适当使用并挖掘精彩句式,以达到画龙点睛的效果;‎ ‎6. 注意控制词数在60词左右。‎ 高分揭秘 ‎1. 本篇概要写作逻辑性强,自然流畅,结构清晰,层次分明。‎ ‎2. 大胆地使用了一些高级词汇和优雅句式。如:join in, for ages, think highly of, the biggest achievement 等。‎ ‎3. 过渡词语的使用也极具色彩,如what’s more, and, more importantly 等。‎ ‎4. 还运用了一些让人耳目一新的高级句式,使整篇文章的风采生辉增艳。如which引导的非限制性定语从句,why引导的定语从句等。‎ ‎5. 本题满分25分,本文得24分。‎ ‎ ‎ ‎8答案及解析：‎ 答案：    The passage is aimed to introduce a floating school, which was completely built by the locals of the Nigeria's biggest city called Lagos.(要点 1) What's more, the designer of the floating school is Kunle Adeyemi whose words suggest solutions should be realistic. (要点 2) Jeremiah is one of the few young people at the floating school, and his opinion on the floating school is to give children a chance to change their lives.(要点 3) (66 words)‎ 解析：‎ 审题分析 ‎1. 审文体。本文是一篇说明文,全文说明的对象是a floating school,揭示该学校在水上贫民窟存在的意义和影响;‎ ‎2. 审时态。说明的是客观存在的事实,故以一般现在时为主;‎ ‎3. 审人称。用第三人称进行叙述与说明,使文章更清晰、直白;‎ ‎4. 审结构3本文可分成三个部分进行创作,即摆出事实、揭示意义、提升高度; ‎ ‎5. 审要点。从全文各部分中归纳总结出要点,涵盖全文内容。‎ 思路点拨 ‎1. 严禁抄袭文章原句; ‎ ‎2. 总结全文所说明的对象 a floating school;‎ ‎3. 根据不同段落划分不同意群层次,如从the floating school的建成、设计师Kunle Adeyemi的评价、Jeremiah对学校发展的展望等方面去叙述概括;‎ ‎4. 注意适当使用精彩的过渡词,使文章自然流畅、层次分明;‎ ‎5. 适当使用并挖掘精彩句式,以达到画龙点睛的效果;‎ ‎6. 注意控制词数在60词左右。‎ 精彩点评 ‎1. 本篇概要写作逻辑性强,自然流畅,结构清晰,层次分明。‎ ‎2. 大胆地使用了一些高级词汇。如:be aimed to, give sb. a chance, change one’s lives 等。‎ ‎3. 承接词语的使用也极具色彩,如what’s more,and等。‎ ‎4. 运用了一些让人耳目一新的高级句式,使整篇文章的风采生辉增艳。如which引导的非限制性定语从句、whose引导的定语从句等。‎ ‎ ‎