山东卷-三年（2017—2019）中考英语满分作文解析

山东卷-三年（2017—2019）中考英语满分作文解析

作文 09 山东卷 2019 年 文段表达 Write a review（评论） of the following story in about 120 words． The review has to include the following points．（阅读下面的故事，请根据下面的提示，写出一篇约120词的评论）． （1）The title of your review．（你撰写的评论的标题．） （2）Your idea（s）， examples and the reason（s） for unhappiness and happiness in the story．（你归 纳的关于故事中幸福和不幸福的观点，举例子并说明原因．） （3）Your idea（s） of happiness， examples for happiness in your daily life．（归纳你在日常生活中关 于幸福的观点，并举例说明．） （4）Your conclusion about happiness．（关于幸福的结论．） （5）The words you may use．（你可能用到的词） be satisfied with（对……满意） desire n．欲望 contentment 知足 the key（关键） to happiness． A long time ago， in a rich and beautiful country， there lived an unhappy king． He slept badly and didn't feel like eating． He often cried for no reason． This made the queen and his people worried． So they called a doctor to examine him．But he found nothing wrong with his body．He said what the king needed was the shirt of a happy person to wear．That would make him happy． The prime minister was called to the palace． But when they explained the king's situation to him， he said， "Although I have a lot of power， it doesn't make me happy． I'm always worried about losing my power．" Then the king's banker came to say， I'm afraid I'm not happy either． I have a lot of wealth， but I'm always worried about losing money． Someone tries to steal my money． Next， the palace singer was called to say， "I'm famous but I'm not happy because I'm worried about being followed by others． I can't be free．" Finally， the top general was told to go out to find a happy man． He searched and searched but couldn't find anyone． Everyone seemed to have their own problems， and no one was truly happy． Just as he wanted to give up． he saw a poor man on the street． He was eating with his hands and singing happily to himself． The general went to him and said，"What makes you so happy？ You have no power， money， or fame．" The man said， "I have everything I want． and I don't want what I can't have． So I'm happy， and my song comes from the happiness in my heart． ""Can you give your shirt to me， I need it， "said the general．"What shirt？ I don' t have any shirts．"answered the man． ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2019 年山东枣庄中考英语作文要求根据题目中的小故事写一篇评论，话题涉及现代人们对幸福的理 解，体现了关注学生的成长，教育学生树立正确的价值观，符合社会主义价值观的要求，属于当今社会的 热点话题之一。本文要求根据小故事写出评论，要求学生能够发表自己的观点，难度要求较高。学生在写 作时要阅读所给材料。 My Thoughts about Happiness Power, wealth, and fame can't always make people happy. For example, the rich people were unhappy, because they are afraid of losing money, while the poor people was truly happy because he was satisfied with what he could have. What can always make me happy？Happiness is always in my heart and is easy to find if I pay more attention to what I have. For instance, enjoying the beautiful sunshine after a cloudy day, getting a glass of water from mother when I am studying, getting help from my friends when I am in trouble and so on. These are the moments when I am happy. All in all, don't think about what you can't have. Contentment is the key to happiness. 【名师点评】 这是一篇要求写评论的文章，根据下面的故事中的相关信息写出一篇约 120 词的评论。所提供的材料 中列举了撰写的评论的标题。主要从：（1）归纳的关于故事中幸福和不幸福的观点，举例子并说明原因。 （2）归纳你在日常生活中关于幸福的观点，并举例说明；（3）关于幸福的结论。这几个方面去介绍。时 态为一般过去时，人称为第一人称。注意评论中必须包含材料上的故事情节，并适当发挥。写作时，避免 使用汉语式的英语，尽量使用我们熟悉的句子或短语。语法要正确，表达要符合英语习惯，注意时态、时 间状语的搭配及主谓一致问题。写作中适当使用连词，注意上下文联系紧密，符合逻辑关系，表达具有条 理性。 【写作亮点】 这是一篇优秀的作文，短文作者根据题目要求，紧扣主题，根据事实写出自己感受．灵活运用平时学 习的句子和句型，写出了自己对幸福的理解。短文有以下几个优点：首先文章内容完整，结构清晰，符合 题目要求。其次本文运用了一些亮点句型，为文章提分不少。（1）高分句型一 For example，the rich people were unhappy, because they are afraid of losing money, while the poor people was truly happy because he was satisfied with what he could have.例如，富人不快乐，因为他们害怕失去钱，而穷人真正快乐是因为他对自己 所拥有的感到满足。句子because they are afraid of losing money是由because引导的原因状语从句。 （2）高分句型二 All in all, don’t think about what you can't have. 总之，不要想你不能拥有的东西。句子 what you can't have.作think about的宾语。 2018 年 Use the following information to write a paragraph about bees. ●Be as busy learning all their subjects as bees are busy gathering honey ●They have sharp stings(刺) to harm them and protect themselves. ●Wise and busy ●No gains ●Does its own work ●Driven from the hive to be stopped from eating the honey before winter comes ●Join together to build cells of wax（蜡质房子） for their honey ●How busy they are always ●Don't work ●That have six sides and are all of one shape and size ●A house called a hive ●One queen Bees live in… They are… There is… in each hive. They all… Each bee… They build cells… It’s pleasant to see… But drones… They are… Children shouldn’t touch bees… No pains… Shouldn’t children… ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2018 年山东枣庄中考英语作文要求学生介绍蜜蜂。文体为说明文。今年作文的主题从以往的关注人文 转至关注自然，属于一个全新的视角，但本文已给出大量材料，学生只需认真阅读所给材料，有条理地去 组织自己的语言。本文难度较低。介绍蜜蜂时应注意语言表达清楚。 Bees live in a house called a hive. They are wise and busy. There is one queen in each hive. They all join together to build cells of wax(蜡质房子) for their honey. Each bee does its own work. They build cells that have six sides and are all of one shape and size. It's pleasant to see how busy they are always, But drones don't work. They are driven from the hive to be stopped from eating the honey before winter comes. Children shouldn't touch bees because they have sharp stings(刺) to harm them and protect themselves. No pains, no gains. Shouldn't children be as busy learning all their subjects as bees are busy gathering honey? 【名师点评】 2018 年山东枣庄中考作文为材料作文，本文主要描述蜜蜂的相关情况，是一篇说明文。题目中已经给 出了大量的信息，考生只需挑选其中的一些，然后有机地组合起来即可。在写作时要注意不要完全按照题 目给出信息的顺序进行描写，要按照正常介绍事物的顺序来写作，比如先介绍属性，然后是外表，接着是 生活习性等。本文描述客观事实，所以多使用一般现在时。注意叙述有条理，多用关联词，使行文连贯、 通顺。这篇作文的词数为 80-100，不得出现考生和相关人物的真实校名和姓名。 【写作亮点】 这是一篇优秀的作文。本文能根据题目中材料，语言简洁准确，行文连贯，不遗漏要点。本文体裁为 说明文。分为三段式来介绍蜂巢。在文章的开头：引出介绍的事物，蜜蜂是益虫(a kind of beneficial insects)。 第二段为文章的重点，具体描写了蜜蜂的情况。1.聪明、勤劳的动物(wise and busy)；2.做事井井有条(in good order and well arranged)；3.建造蜂巢(build cells of wax)；结尾：联系实际 要向蜜蜂学习，一分耕耘一分收 获(no pains, no gains)。文章语言表达要符合英语习惯，准确运用一般现在时。 2017 年 文段表达 Write a review of the following story in about 90 words. The review has to include the following points: 1. The name of your review. 2. The idea(s) of your review. 3. The reason(s) for your idea(s). 4. Something you decide after you consider all the information in the story. “ Cock-a-doodle-doo!” cried the cock（公鸡）. He stood in the farm-yard and cried aloud, so that all people might hear him. “Cock-a-diidke-doo! How useful I am, for I always get up first. And I cry about as soon as the sun rises to make all people in the house wake.” “Cluck! Cluck! Cluck!”cried the hen from the yard. She was walking about with three pretty little chickens, and trying to find some food for them. “Cluck! Cluck! Cluck! I’m more useful than you. Almost every day I lay a nice fresh egg for my master’s （男主人）breakfast. Then think how useful I am to my mistress（女主人）. How many nice things does she make with my eggs for the children? She could not get on well without eggs.” 2017 年山东枣庄英语中考作文，要求写一篇评论。材料已给出，这就要求学生能认真阅读所给材料， 确定作文的题目、主旨以及原因，考察学生对语言的实际应用能力和思想深度难度较高。本文通过小故事 要求学生能对生活中的一些现象进行正确的分析，树立正确的人生观、价值观。 The Use of the Cock and the hen The cock is useful. He always gets up first and cries,“Cock-a-diidke-doo!”to wake all people in the house up. The hen is useful too.On the one hand,she tries to find food for pretty little chickens;on the other hand,she lays a nice fresh egg for her master’s breakfast.Her mistress makes many things with her eggs for the children.She could get on well with eggs. In a word,both the cock and the hen are useful.It is wrong of them to see their own use only instead of seeing each other’s use. 【名师点评】 本文要求写一篇评论，也是一篇材料作文，给出了一个小故事。我们要根据提示用自己的语言对公鸡 和母鸡的行为做出评价，并要写出自己这样评价的理由。要注意所写的句子符合英语表达习惯，不要遗漏 要点，语言准确。注意本文的时态为一般现在时态、时间状语的搭配及主谓一致问题。写作中适当使用连 词，注意上下文联系紧密，符合逻辑关系，表达具有条理性。 【写作亮点】 这篇是一篇优秀的作文，短文语句通顺，表达准确。本文能根据材料确定作文的题目，结构完整，短 文中用了一些复杂句式及短语如：get up 起床；wake sb. up 把某人叫醒；try to do sth,努力做某事；find food 找到食物；it is+形容词+介词（of/for)+to do sth. 做某事对某人来说是怎样的；此外还用了一些过渡句或短 语，如：On the one hand, on the other hand, In a word 等，使句子上下文过渡自然。