2020届二轮复习新高考写作教学的探索与实践

2020届二轮复习新高考写作教学的探索与实践

新高考写作教学 的 探索与实践 （ 概 要 写 作 与 读 后 续 写 ） 杭州学军中学 方梦婧 政策解读 第四部分:写作 该部分由一、二两节组成，考查考生根据特定要求完成写作任务的能力。 第一节:应用文写作。要求考生根据所给情景，写一篇80词左右的短文。情景 包括目的、对象、时间、地点、内容等；提供情景的方式有提纲、图画、图 表等。 第二节:读后续写或概要写作。两种形式在不同考次不定期交替使用。 《普通高等学校招生：全国统一考试英语科考试说明（高考综合改革试验省份试用）》 2016年10月——2019年6月 浙江高 考历次 高考原 题+ 文章类 型 2016.10 读后续写 2017.6 读后续写 2017.11 读后续写 2018.6 读后续写 2018.11 概要写作 2019.6 概要写作 记叙文： 妻子丛 林迷失， 如何获 救 记叙文： 骑手路遇 野狼，如 何获救逃 生 记叙文： 家庭旅行， 母亲搭帐 篷过夜的 提议被否 记叙文： 父子驰骋 西部荒野， 迷路森林， 如何寻路 议论文： 高中生选 择合适的 大学 议论文： 家长表扬 孩子 问题解决型 话题贴近生活 《普通高中英语课程标准（2017年版）》： 英语学科的四大核心素养： 语言能力、文化意识、思维品质、学习能力 读后续写题型是基于英语学科素养，通过读写结 合，检测学生的英语书面理解与表达能力。 夏谷鸣，2018 读后续写方法的最大优势在于将语言的模仿与内 容的创新有机结合，在于释放使用者想象力的同时 提高其准确运用外语的能力。 王初明，2012第一部分： 读后续写 （1）每篇文章都有各自独特的写作思路，通过精读文章，找到该篇文 章的写作线索，如是以时间为线索还是以空间为线索等，这样有利于 考生“顺藤摸瓜”。 （2）仔细审题，明确续写要求。一般短文后面的“注意”都有对此短 文续写的具体要求，如字数限制、使用几处下划线关键词语、续写段落 的首句提示，这样考生能做到“心中有数”。 （3）回扣原文，揣摩续写思路。根据文章后面的要求，再次快速回读 短文，抓住文章的思路，结合段首的提示语，最终确定续写段落的思 路，同时结合文章划线词语提示，确定续写段落的内容。 读后续写 具体步骤 （4）拟写草稿，修改错词病句。在确定了思路和内容之后，最关键的 就是结合提示语或者文中划线的关键词语拟写草稿。拟写时，注意句 子结构的多样性、语言的丰富性，并通过句与句之间连接词的正确使 用，使上下文连贯。 读后续写 具体步骤 （5）标出续写部分中使用到的原材料中标有下划线的关键词语。这 一点可以帮助考生检查关键词语的使用情况并根据情况做出修改。 最后在誊写文字时，务必做到“字迹工整、清晰”。 (1)总分25分，按五个档次给分；根据内容及语言初步定档； (2)词数少于130的，扣2分； (3)单词拼写及标点符号使用情况，视其对交际的影响程度酌情理； (4)书写较差以至于影响交际，可酌情降低评分档次。 (1)与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度； (2)内容的丰富性和对所给关键词语的覆盖情况； (3)应用语法结构和词汇的丰富性和准确性； (4)上下文的连贯性。 内容情节 语言表达 清晰书写 读后续写 评分扣分标准 评分档次 第一条 第二条 第三条 第四条 第五档 （21-25分） 与所给短文融合 度高，与所提供 的各段落开头语 衔接合理。 内容丰富，应用了 五个以上短文中标 出的关键词语。 所使用语法结构和 词汇丰富、准确， 可能有些许错误， 但完全不影响意义 表达。 有效地使用了语句 间的连接成分，使 所续写的短文结构 紧凑。 第四档 （16-20分） 与所给短文融合 度较高，与所提 供的各段落开头 语衔接较为合理。 内容比较丰富，应 用了五个以上短文 中标出的关键词语。 所使用语法结构和 词汇较为丰富、准 确，可能有些许错 误，但不影响意义 表达。 比较有效地使用了 语句间的连接成分， 使所续写的短文结 构紧凑。 第三档 （11-15分） 与所给短文关系 较为密切，与所 提供的各段落开 头语有一定程度 的衔接。 写出了若干有关内 容，应用了四个以 上短文中标出的关 键词语。 应用的语法结构和 词汇能满足任务的 要求，虽有一些错 误，但不影响意义 表达。 应用简单的语句间 连接成分，使全文 内容连贯。 第二档 （6-10分） 与所给短文有一 定的关系，与所 提供的各段落开 头语有一定程度 的衔接 写出了一 些有 关内 容，应用了3个以上 短文中标出的关键 词语 语法结构单调，词 汇项目有限，有些 语法结构和词汇方 面的错误，影响了 意义的表达。 较 少 使 用 语 句 间 的 连 接 成 分 ， 全 文内容缺少连贯 性。 第一档 （1-5分） 与所提供的短文 和开头语的衔接 较差。 产出内容较少，很 少使用短文中标出 的关键词语。 语法结构单调，词 汇项目有限，有较 多语法结构和词汇 方面的错误，严重 影响了意义的表达。 缺 乏 语 句 间 的 连 接成分， 全文内 容连贯。 1）与原文合 理衔接 2）内容丰富 有看点，用关 键词 3）语法结构 和词汇准确多 样 4）语句衔接， 结构紧凑 1）高度关注段落开头语 段落开头语：加强对读后续写故事发展方向的把握、有利于统一该 题型的赋分标准。 第一段开头承上启下，内容起于所读短文，止于第二段开头。 前文内容：Arthur在不知情的情况下帮助了劫匪逃离案发现场，又 因为手上的箱子被误以为是劫匪，惊慌之下拔腿就跑。 Paragraph1:As he was running, Arthur heard the young man shouting behind, “Stop, stop!” Paragraph2: The taxi stopped in front of the Police Station and Arthur… As he was running, Arthur heard the young man shouting behind, “Stop, stop!” The taxi stopped in front of the Police Station and Arthur… stopped didn’t stop took a taxi home or… police station 情节发展 思维导图 Paragraph1:As he was running, Arthur heard the young man shouting behind, “Stop, stop!” Paragraph2: The taxi stopped in front of the Police Station and Arthur… 具有限定性，自由发挥程度低 第二段开头语一般呈现地点，时间，人物等内容 发展的基本要素，对后文有一定影响，但不起决 定作用。 教学建议：通读全文，仔细分析两个段落开头语的内在逻辑关系， 尤其关注第一段开头语对第二段开头语的指向，确保第一段的续写情 节符合故事发展的逻辑，顺利过渡到第二段。并在此基础上构思第二 段的内容，确保故事发展合理。 conflict setting, characters … 2）教学渗透文学常识（教材） 故事：文学语篇 文学常识1： plot structure greatest emotional tension events following the climax ties threads together The most common kinds of conflict are: In a story, conflict is the result of competing desires or the presence of difficulties that need to be overcome. Conflict is necessary in a story. No conflict,no story! Conflict：准确把握文章的冲突 Man versus Self (internal) Man versus Nature (external) Man versus Man (external) Man versus Society (external) Hamlet Robinson Crusoe Alice's Adventures in Wonderland The Hunger Games 2016.10 夫妻吵架，妻子迷路山中，寻求救援。 But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again. It was daybreak when Jane woke up. 2017.6 骑行路遇野狼，千钧一发之际向过路汽车寻求帮助。 The car abruptly stopped in front of him. A few minutes later another cyclist arrived. 2017.11 与健忘的母亲家庭自驾游，途中趣事横生，母亲搭帐篷露营的提议受到否决。 The next day we remembered the brand new tent had brought with us. We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way. 2018.6 父子西部农场体验生活，儿子初次体验骑马。 Suddenly a little rabbit jumped out in front of my horse. We had no idea where we were and it got dark. Man vs Man Man vs Self Man vs Nature Man vs Man Man vs Society Man vs Self Man vs Man(wolf) Man vs Man Man vs Nature 冲突随理解变化 Man vs Nature Man vs Nature 在教材中渗透读后续写技能： B3U1 Reading: A Sad Love Story Li Fang VS Hu Jing B7U2 Man vs Man Satisfaction Guaranteed Claire VS Tony Man vs Man 选修 （欣赏类） The Comeback The Lady, or the Tiger? Man vs Self Man vs Self Frank Stockton 创意写作大赛 To be, or not to be? arena He turned and with a firm step walked quickly across the arena. … Without the slightest hesitation, he went to the door on the right and pulled it open. “Did the tiger come out of the door, or did the lady?” If you were the princess, how would you choose? What is love? Love it, set it free? 3）把握关键词 One weekend in July, Jane and her husband, Tom, had driven three hours to camp overnight by a lake in the forest. Unfortunately, on the way an unpleasant subject came up and they started to quarrel. By the time they reached the lake, Jane was so angry that she said to Tom. “I'm going to find a better spot for us to camp" and walked away. With no path to follow,Jane just walked on for quite a long time. After she had climbed to a high place. she turned around, hoping to see the lake. To her surprise, she saw nothing but forest and, far beyond, a snowcapped mountain top. She suddenly realized that she was lost. “Tom! "she cried. "Help!" No reply. If only she had not left her mobile phone in that bag with Tom. Jane kept moving, but the farther she walked, the more confused she became. As night was beginning to fall, Jane was so tired that she had to stop for the night. Lying awake in the dark, Jane wanted very much to be with Tom and her family. She wanted to hold him and tell him how much she loved him. 2016年10月：夫妻吵架，妻子迷路山中，寻求救援。 由于读后续写要求学生将所读短文扩展成一篇与给 定材料有逻辑衔接、情节何结构完整的短文，且需 运用5个以上所给关键词，因此关键词必然能够反 映故事主要内容、传递短文信息。 凌勇，2017 Jane and her husband Tom went camping near a lake; Jane walked into the forest alone and got lost. She climbed to a high place and later found a stream at a distance but still couldn’t get back. To her great joy, she heard a helicopter and she decided to wave her yellow blouse in an open area. 3）把握关键词 2016年10月：夫妻吵架，妻子迷路山中，寻求救援。 Jane rose at the break of day, hungry and thirsty. She could hear water trickling (滴落）somewhere at a distance. Quickly she followed the sound to a stream. To her great joy, she also saw some berry bushes. She drank and ate a few berries. Never in her life had she tasted anything better. Feeling stronger now. Jane began to walk along the stream and hope it would lead her to the lake. As she picked her way carefully along the stream, Jane heard a helicopter. Is that for me? Unfortunately, the trees made it impossible for people to see her from above. A few minutes later, another helicopter flew overhead. Jane took off her yellow blouse, thinking that she should go to an open area and flag them if they came back again.人物 Jane，Tom 地点 lake, stream, at a distance 动作 walked, climbed 事物 helicopter,yellow blouse 心理 to her great joy 记叙文 基本要 素 2016.10 夫妻吵架，妻子迷路山中，寻求救援。 But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again. （过程: Jane got a good idea.） Jane, Tom: Jane missed Tom; Jane felt regretful and the sweet memories with Tom came back to her… lake, stream: tried to find the lake; walked along the stream; rested by the lakestream and washed her face… walked, climbed: walked aimlessly; climbed to the top of a mountaintree It was daybreak when Jane woke up. （结局: Jane was rescued.） Jane, Tom: Jane and Tom hugged tightly; realized how much they loved each other and decided not to argue again… yellow blouse: waved her yellow blouse helicopter: appeared in the sky and flew to her direction at a distance: spotted Jane at a distance; saw the helicopter at a distance to her great joy: it didn’t miss her this time; Tom hugged her 人物 Jane，Tom 地点 lake, stream, at a distance 动作 walked, climbed 事物 helicopter,yellow blouse 心理 to her great joy 4）重视协同效应 所续写的内容要在内容、情感、逻辑与语言四方面与原文产生一定的协同效应。 张强，2017 协同效应受段落开头语和画线关键词等提示信息的影响，但提示以外的特别是 词汇和语法结构的协同相对薄弱。 胡杰元，3 常见问题一：续写段落与原文的语言风格不一致 1. 体裁； 2. 时态； 3. 以对话推动情节； 4. 忽略语言风格； 原文的体裁是________；人称是________；主体时态是 ________；续写段落的体裁是________；人称是________； 主体时态是________。故事发展的六要素： When Where Who Why How What 1）搭建理解框架 2）留意语言态度（Tone） Tone indicate the author’s attitude or feelings about what they have written. Examples of tone • cautious • humorous • affectionate • objective • subjective • critical • hostile • violent • personal • serious • indifferent • disapproving • desperate • enthusiastic • sarcastic • pleading 3）注重积累，增加语言的丰富性 The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us. David like the tent very much. He like sleeping in the tent. We can sleep in the tent. And we can not found the place to sleep. But mom still said it is a trouble she always wanted to find a vacancy to sleep. But I thinked the tent is great. I could see stars and the moon when I sleep in the tent. And I can look around thenation 简单陈述句，平铺直叙，较多的语法错误。 第二档：6—10分 3）注重积累，增加语言的丰富性 The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us. Thinking of this tent, Mom suggested that we go camping in the next village inexcitement, with eyes glittering. Considering her enthusiasm, we all agreed.When the door of our car opened, Mom stormed out instantly and urged us to put up the tent. David and I were asked to pick up some branches to build a fire. And when we came back, Dad and Mom had already lain on the grass comfortably in front of the tent, talking merrily with a local boy at our age, who always cast a glimpse at this tent curiously. Soon we learnt that the boy in rags even did’nt have a home to live. Of course, Mom “forgot” to take this tent with us again. 句型丰富，擅用修辞，流畅、准确、灵活。 第五档：20—25分 教学建议： 夯实语法基础，训练续写“微技能” 常见句型： 非谓语动词 限制性定语从句 非限制性定语从句 主语从句 表语从句 宾语从句 同位语从句 主语从句 with结构 独立主格 强调句 倒装句 虚拟语气 祈使句 感叹句 常见修辞（figures of speech）： 1）simile明喻： The night sky was as dark as the deepest ocean. The stars sparkled like diamonds. The snake moved like a ripple on a pond. 2）metaphor暗喻： A wave of terror washed over him. War is the mother of all battles. Her dance is a great poem. A new road to freedom passes through this valley of death. 3）personification拟人： The flowers nodded. Snowflakes danced. Fog crept in. The wind howled. The haunted house seemed to stare at me, beckoning me towards the door. 教学建议： 夯实语法基础，训练续写“微技能” to tell: My brother is hopeful. to show: My brother’s eyes are sparkling with anticipation. to tell: Jane is a cruel person. to show: As Jane walked past the box labeled “Free Puppies,” she furtively(偷偷摸摸) glanced around her, then gave the box a swift kick. to tell: It was raining heavily. to show: Thunders roaring and icy biting rain violently beating against the windows, I could barely hear any voice----Christopher was nowhere to be found. S.T.E.A.L 4）关注角色性格与主题，情感态度协同 I had an interesting childhood: It was filled with surprise and amusements, all because of my mother-loving, sweet, and yet absent-minded and forgetful. One strange family trip we took when I was eleven tells a lot about her. My two sets of grandparents lived in Colorado and North Dakota, and my parents decided to spend a few weeks driving to those states and seeing all the sights along the way. As the first day of our trip approached, David, my eight-year-old brother, and I unwillingly said good-bye to all of our friends. Who knew if we’d ever see them again? Finally, the moment of our departure arrived, and we loaded suitcases, books, games, camping equipment, and a tent into the car and bravely drove off. We bravely drove off again two hours later after we’d returned home to get the purse and traveler’s checks Mom had forgotten. 4）关注角色性格与主题，情感态度协同 David and I were always a little nervous when using gas station bathrooms if Mom was driving while Dad slept: “You stand outside the door and play lookout while I go, and I’ll stand outside the door and play lookout while you go.” I had terrible pictures in my mind: “Honey, where are the kids?” “What?! Oh, Gosh… I thought they were being awfully quiet.” We were never actually left behind in a strange city, but we weren’t about to take any chances. On the fourth or fifth night, we had trouble finding a hotel with a vacancy. After driving in vain for some time, Mom suddenly got a great idea: Why didn’t we find a house with a likely-looking backyard and ask if we could set up tent there? David and I became nervous. To our great relief, Dad turned down the idea. Mom never could understand our objections. If a strange family showed up on her front doorsteps, Mom would have been delighted. She thinks everyone in the world as as nice as she is. We finally found a vacancy in the next town. 人物性格分析 Character Behaviors Character analysis Mom • Decided to spend a few weeks with my grandparents; • Suggested camping in other’s background; • Forgot the purse and checks; • Forgot the fact that kids went to the bathroom; Dad • Decided to spend a few weeks with my grandparents and see the sights along the way; • Turned down mom’s proposal; David and I • Unwilling to say goodbye to our friends; • Nervous when using gas station bathroom; • Nervous on hearing mom’s suggestion. Loving; caring; nice; a little innocent Absent-minded; forgetful; thoughtless Caring; love his families; rational; decisive Value friendship; cautious; thoughtful; show consideration for their mom The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us. Thinking of this tent, Mom suggested that we go camping in the next village inexcitement, with eyes glittering. Considering her enthusiasm, we all agreed.When the door of our car opened, Mom stormed out instantly and urged us to put up the tent. David and I were asked to pick up some branches to build a fire. And when we came back, Dad and Mom had already lain on the grass comfortably in front of the tent, talking merrily with a local boy at our age, who always cast a glimpse at this tent curiously. Soon we learnt that the boy in rags even didn’t have a home to live. Of course, Mom “forgot” to take this tent with us again. We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way. And we also had a nice time living with my grandparents during that vacation. But what impressed me most was that tent, which was forgotten deliberately by Mom. Though she did love going camping, she presented that poor boy with this tent out of sympathy. It was Mom that made my childhood colorful. And it was also she that showed me the true meaning of giving. 紧扣人物性格，情节合情合理，引向主题的升华。 概要写作（Summary） 概要写作（summary）《牛津高阶英语词典》（第 8 版）对它 的定义如下: “A summary is a brief statement that gives only the main points of something not the details.” 在整体把握原文的前提下，用自己简洁、精练的语言，对原文的 主旨大意进行高度的浓缩，写出一篇语义连贯的短文。 一方面考查学生通过阅读获取文章的能力，另一方面也考查学生 的写作能力，即用简洁的语言概括文章重要信息的能力。因此，概要 写作是基于阅读理解和书面表达的，是二者的有机结合体，是阅读理 解和书面表达的沟通桥梁。 概要写作： 提供一篇30词以内的短文，要求考 生基于该短文写出一篇60词左右的 内容概要。阅卷时将主要考虑以下 内容: (1)对原文要点的理解和呈现情况; (2)应用语法结构和词汇的准确性; (3)上下文的连贯性; (4)对各要点表达的独立性情况。 Using your own language 注意事项： 1）词数少于40和多于80的， 从总分中减去2分； 2）拼写和标点符号是语言 准确性的一个重要方面，评 分时，应视其对交际的影响 程度予以考虑； 3）如书写较差以致影响交 际，可将分数降低一个档次。 概要写作当中的语法正确尤为重要 一、客观性： 概要写作其实是一种客观的复述，在正确理解原文的基 础上，用自己的语言忠实地再现作者的思想，写作内容要全 面，既不能漏掉任何要点，也不能随意增加内容。特别需要 注意的是，考生不能对原文进行解释和评论，也不能掺杂任 何个人想法，或做出任何评判，因此不能出现“I believe”, “I think”等字句。 text author you 再 现 二、简洁性： 能简则简，避免繁复。概要写作是一种对原文“浓缩”后 产生的新语篇，通过删除细节，减少例证，简化描述以 及去除重复来实现语言的简洁性，但是简洁的同时还要 做到意义的完整。 三、连贯性： 概要写作并不是写提纲那样只是要点的罗列。写概要时， 必须在各要点之间增加一些体现逻辑的关系词，使概要衔 接紧密、脉络清晰。写出的概要读起来要完整连贯、独立 成篇。 切记： 概要写作不分段！ 篇章类型： • 描写类 • 叙事类 • 说明类 • 议论类 • 指导类 概要写作基本步骤1： 判断文章体裁 2018.11 概要写作 2019.6 概要写作 议论文： 高中生如 何选择合 适的大学 议论文： 家长如何 表扬孩子 文章体裁 主题句 拓展句 概要形式 说明文 说明的观点/ 对象/现象 解释/分述 （2—3句） 主题句 + 若干拓展句 + 总结 议论文 文章论点 （1句） 论据 （2—3句） 概要写作基本步骤2： 利用关键句/关键词概括主旨 • 情况一：有主题句 中文：螺旋型发展，“言归正传” 英文：直线型发展，“开门见山” 主题句：段首，段中，端末 • 情况二：无主题句 定位、提取和整合分散在原文 中的关键词对主旨进行概括 概要写作基本步骤3： 提取核心内容支撑主旨大意 • 主要内容： • 抽象 • 主句 • 次要内容： • 具体 • 从句 • 举例，引入，定义？ 常见误区1：误将提及的内容和细节当作核心内容。 常见误区2： 不理解的生词直接出现在概要中。 2018年杭州市统测概要写作 Elevator music, also known as Muzak, is played in the background of many places people visit to relax their mind.(要点1) Muzak is most often heard at times when people are the most tired, which are in the late morning and late afternoon.(要点2) Do you ever notice the music playing when you enter a store? No? Often it is very difficult topoint out. It is similar to the music you listen to, but it is not the same. The music played in storesis changed to be more relaxing and to give you more mental energy. This style of music is calledelevator music. Elevator music is also referred to as Muzak. Muzak is very commonly listened to in the USA. About 1/3 of Americans will listen to Muzak for about 15 minutes a day in order to relaxthemselves. The music is played and contains short pauses. The most common time to hearelevator music played is between ten and eleven in the morning, and three to four in theafternoon. This is when most people are the most tired and could use the extra energy. Elevator music is often played in public places because it is designed to make people feel lesslonely and refreshes their brain. It has been proven that Muzak does what it is supposed to do. 概要写作基本步骤4： 用自己的话表达原文主旨 “用自己的话”从wording和sentence structure两个方面着手： • 删：删除不必要的细节（具体实例、细节描写等） • 换：用同义词替换原文中的词语；使用同族语（如success， succeed）；用抽象概括的单词替代具体的单词（如用fruit代替 apples，bananas and grapes）。 • 改：改变原文的句型，如直接引语改为间接引语，从句改为短语， 改变语态；改变人称代词、物主代词等。 • 并：将几个独立的句子合并为一个并列句或复合句，如带同位语、 定语从句、状语从句、分词短语的复合句。 You might think lower noises, typically caused by shipping or construction, do not pose a threat to marine animals. In fact, while they may not kill the animals directly, they can disturb their ability to locate food, find mates and avoid predators (掠食动物). Scientists looked at the effects of noise from small motorboats on coral-reef fish at the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. In the lab, the fish had been trained to recognize the smell of three common predators as a threat. Some fish were trained in the presence of boat noise, while the others had training with the natural sounds of the ocean. It turned out that the first group showed no fright reactions when exposed to the predator. However, the other group was scared. And under the influence of underwater noise on this group, only 20 percent of fish survived, compared to almost 70 percent of unexposed fish. What? lower noises by(comparing) experiment/ research The lower noise can harm marine animals’ ability to survive, according to scientists’ research. 概要写作基本步骤5： 衔接核心内容贯通全文 方法一：添加连接词 （在概要写作中的重要性非同一般） 逻辑关系 连接词 对比转折 However; on the other hand; despite; in spite of; though; although; but; on the contrary; otherwise; yet; instead of; rather; rather than; whereas; nevertheless; even though… 表递进 What’s more; in addition; moreover; furthermore; besides… 表因果 Therefore; so; as a result; consequently; thus; accordingly; in this way; due to; because of; owing to; result from; result in; lead to; because… 表总结 In short; in brief; briefly; to sum up; on the whole; in a word… 1 Drinking fluoride-treated（氟化物处理） water benefits people’s health in many ways. 2 Teeth can be protected from decaying by joint efforts of fluoride and enamels（牙釉质）. 3 Drinking water purified by fluoride is free from bacteria and organisms. 4 Drinking fluoride-treated water strengthens bone structures and reduce bone. 常见误区3：概要写作是罗列每一段的主题句。 分析各要点之间的 逻辑关系: 总分关系 Drinking fluoride-treated（氟化物处理） water benefits people’s health in many ways. First, it makes teeth decay preventable. Second, the use of fluoride helps keep bacteria and organisms away. Third, drinking fluoride-treated water strengthens bone structures and reduce bone related diseases. 分析各要点之间的 逻辑关系: 总分关系 概要写作基本步骤5： 衔接核心内容贯通全文 方法：尝试一句多点 Drinking fluoride-treated water benefits health in multiple ways: in addition to making teeth decay preventable, it also keeps bacteria and organisms away and strengthens the bone structure. 概要写作评分标准 一、按句子给分： 1）一句5分，共20分； 2）词汇语法、连贯性、书写等，5分; 3）不仅包含关键内容，还考虑句子和句子之间的逻辑关系、篇章的连贯性。 4）对阅卷老师的要求较高，阅卷速度较慢。 Although underwater world is not silent, man-made sound is doing great harm to marine animal. （要点 1） Important as underwater sound is to animals there, loud noises in the sea threatens their normal life(hearing). （要 点 2） The lower noise can harm marine animals’ ability to survive, according to scientists’ research/experiment.（要点 3） Thus, with the benefits of ocean to the environment and temperature, people must protect it rather than fight it. （要点 4） 概要写作评分标准 一、按点给分： Although underwater world is not silent, man-made sound is doing great harm to marine animal. （要点 1） Important as underwater sound is to animals there, loud noises in the sea threatens their normal life(提到hearing也 可以给分). （要点 2） The lower noise can harm marine animals’ ability to survive, according to scientists’ research/experiment.（要点 3） Thus, with the benefits of ocean to the environment and temperature, people must protect it rather than fight it.（要点 4） 1）每点10分，共20分； 2）词汇语法、连贯性、书写等，5分; 3）方便阅卷老师踩点，阅卷速度较快； 4）容易忽略句子之间的逻辑关系，出现误判。 概要写作评分标准： 2019年6月浙江高考真题 Possible Version Nowadays parents tend to overpraise their children, which may have bad effects.（要点一） However, inadequate praise can be equally harmful. （要点二） Experts suggest that parents pay attention to the quality of their praise and praise their effort rather than the result. （要点 三） Parents should also be aware that praise needs to be task-specific and match the amount of effort their children have made.（要点四） 1）明确要求，避开“非智力因素”的失分（几大禁区）： 读后续写： 不分段，两段平衡； 不添加新人物、新场景（时间、地点） 不传递负能量（悲剧、暴力、角色死亡等）（真善美） 概要写作： 不分段； 不抄原句； 不加入主观因素。 2）不与平时的教学分离，从高一开始渗透； 3）发挥团队的力量： 作文讲评卷(作文分析，常见错误汇总，补充表达，优秀范文等内容)； 专题分配（写作微技能：表情，动作，修辞。。。概要mind map，paraphrase专题等） 组内公开课。 几点教学建议 语言与内容是一个问题的两个方面：两个 方面有机结合，就是思维训练。 ——葛炳芳